Since tonight I’m hosting my annual Yoda Yulefest party, I thought I would re-post my poem, ‘Twas the Night Before Yoda Yulefest, which has gone through a facelift since last year. (Many thanks to kc dyer for helping out this very poor poet!)
‘Twas the Night before Yulefest
‘Twas the night before Yulefest, not a sound to be heard
From a geek, from a dork, not even a nerd . . .
The sabres were hung by the chimney with care,
In hopes that Master Yoda soon would be there.
The Padawans were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of green aliens danced in their heads.
With a sigh and a smile I took off my clone trooper cap
Put down my action figures and prepared for a nap.
When out in the galaxy arose such a boom,
I sprang from the bed in a fast, nerd-like zoom.
Away to the window I flew laser-fast,
Tore open the blinds like an X-wing crash.
The stars glimmered above in a marvellous sky,
Giving lustre to objects that soared up so high,
When, what to my spectacled eyes should appear,
But a tiny green space ship – and a Jedi so near.
My nerdy senses had clearly achieved their quota,
For I knew in a moment, this must be old Yoda.
With his friends from a galaxy far, far away,
Their names he called out, in a voice clear as day:
“Now Leia, now 3P0, now Luke and Obi-wan,
On Anakin, on R2, Chewbacca and Han!’
To the dunes of Tatooine, to the swampy Dagobah!
But first to the geek’s house; the geek’s house, ha-ha!”
As nerds whimper before a big bully’s fists fly,
When they meet with an obstacle, break down and cry,
So up to the house-top wee Yoda did soar,
With a space-ship of wisdom, and a little bit more…
And then, in a twinkling, I heard from above,
The coo of an alien, like young Vader in love,
As I drew in my head, and was turning around,
Down the chimney old Yoda then came with a bound.
He was dressed all in green, from his feet to his ears,
And he looked tho’ he must have lived nine hundred years;
A bundle of sayings he held on his tongue,
Ready to dole out to the old and the young.
His eyes—how they twinkled! His ear twitches so askew
He looked so merry, with his great sack of presents too!
When he paused for a moment to nibble on a cookie,
I hoped he had brought my wish—my very own Wookie.
Then his cane he held tight in his gnarled little claw,
And he started to dance without fumble or flaw.
With his very broad belly and round little face,
He looked far more jolly than old Jedi Mace.
He was truly so small, but I suddenly thought,
This is Master Yoda, and size matters not.
He looked at me then, with a wink of his eye,
And said, “Do or do not, there can be no try.”
Then he smiled and passed on just a few more words,
Of support for all the world’s geeks, dorks, and nerds,
And laying a finger against one green cheek,
Went back up the chimney without even a squeak.
Unburdened of thoughts, he climbed into his vessel,
And launched into the sky, like the Falcon ran the Kessel,
But I heard him exclaim, right before his ship flew,
“Good tidings to all—and may the force be with you.