Tag: amazon

Would you survive the Rumble Pit?

Rumble Pit battle.Kendra Kandlestar and the Shard from Greeve is free until September 25th on amazon (click here!) so I thought I would help celebrate by posting one of my most popular quizzes.

Imagine that you have set off an adventure to search between the cracks of here and there for the Land of Een—you take a wrong turn and end up in Queen Krake’s dreaded Rumble Pit! Will you survive? Just answers the ten multiple-choice questions below to find out! (If you want one to print out, just click here).

1. Your Rumble Pit nickname is:

__ Crodan the Crusher
__ Wulfclaw the Warrior
__ Dinner
__ Bonespur the Barbarian

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2. As you charge at an enemy, you are known to yell:

__ Die, worms, die!

__ Humph!

__ Don’t think of pickles!

__ Eek! Who’s charging?

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3. If you could take one item into the Rumble Pit it would be:

__ A handful of Ratchet Ringtail’s Snore Galore

__ Jinx’s trusty poker (as good as any sword!)

__ A change of underwear

__ Shard from Greeve, the stone of dark power

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4. If you were wounded in the Rumble Pit, you would most likely:

__ Stitch yourself up with a piece of bone and some string, then keep fighting

__ Tell your companions to leave you behind so as to save themselves

__ Suck on your thumb and cry for your mommy

__ Find a wand of Eenwood and heal yourself

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5. Your best move in the Rumble Pit:

__ Float like a pixie, sting like a skarm 

__ Back flip over your enemy and stab him in the back

__ Full-throttle assault, like a fly on dragon poop

__ Drop your sword, pee your pants, and flee for the nearest exit

*

6. The Rumble Pit warrior you’d most like to fight is:

__ Grolf the giant: brain like a pea, fists like hammers

__ Buttercup the kitten: fur as soft as snow, nose as pink as pansies

__ Krackle the dragon: breath of fire, scales of steel, tail like a whip

__ Xerdes the serpent: venom that sizzles and burns, coils that twist and constrict

*

7. The Rumble Pit warrior you’d want on your side is:

__ Uriel the Unicorn: shy and timid, horn like a javelin

__ Agent Lurk: fingers like talons, cloak of invisibility, mysterious intentions

__ Pugglemud the Dwarf: fly-encrusted beard, breath like a sewer, would boil his own mother in ketchup if it meant his escape

__ Juniper Jinx: grasshopper in shape and size, but heart of a giant, with a tongue as sharp as her many swords

*

8. An opponent falls to his knees, begging for mercy, and you:

__ Spare his life; ask him to fight by your side

__ Roll him in raw meat and use him as dragon bait

__ Hug him and pet him and call him George

__ Drop an ogre on him

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9. If given the choice, after a rumble, you’d prefer to sit in your dungeon cell and:

__ Plan your strategy for next time

__ Get your horns sharpened (wait, why do you have horns?)

__  Sit in the corner, whimper quietly

__ Get a nice facial with perfumed cream

*

10. You last cleaned your gladiator gear:

__ Yesterday

__ In the days of Een, when the Wizard Greeve cast his curse

__  Last week

__ What’s cleaning?

After you finish answering all the questions, you can find out if you survived by downloading the answer key. But no cheating in the Rumble Pit!

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Straight from the Seas of Ire

This is one of the few ingredients in my magic potions kit that doesn’t actually look disgusting; in fact, I think it looks rather beautiful.

Water from the Seas of Ire

Scoptacus.However, it’s probably no surprise that this is NOT the first ingredient my students go for when I take my kit to my creative writing classes on cooking with the five senses.

Oh, and for those of you asking “Where are the Seas of Ire?” Well, it goes by a different name these days. But Kendra Kandlestar had to cross these intrepid waters back in the Shard from Greeve. Of course, she had to battle a deadly scoptacus along the way! This book is actually is offered on amazon kindle as a give-away until September 25th–download your free copy HERE!