A glimpse at a beautiful piece

I thought I would post the short piece below from one of my long-time students, Rachel Kim. She has been with me for a few years now and currently she’s working on an interesting novel about a character who lives in an oppressive society. The best parts of Rachel’s book—the parts I’m really enjoying—are these short interludes in which her protagonist converses with her own inner soul in a sort of metaphorical prison.

Here’s an excerpt from the most recent scene Rachel shared with me. Oh—by the way, I should add that Rachel is only twelve!

* * *

An excerpt from Trapped (temporary title)

“I see you have made a quite good progress,” the soul complimented as she settled herself on the windowsill.

“Thank you,” I replied, quickly adverting my eyes from the sun’s radiance. “It wasn’t without pain, though,” I whispered as I unconsciously fiddled with the dent on the chain.

“You have often repeated this quote yourself: ‘No pain, no gain’,” the soul replied curtly. “Though I believe this could have gone with rather less pain, save your frequent outbursts to your Educator,” she added with a hint of a smile upon her marred lips. But something about the soul was reforming. Her grievous appearance seemed to be lightened by a mysterious cause and she was less aggravated.

“Well, I believed he deserved it, but after a few weeks of my defiance, he was surely more irritable and cross than usual.” I smiled at the memory of the weariness of the Educator as he was forced to face my colorful tunic, which I had continued to wear, even after my punishment. In fact, days had passed since I had first donned it.

“He will be crosser, and he would not be the only one, as the manacles are more marred,” cautioned the soul. “But if you truly want freedom, that is a trifle of a sacrifice.”

“And I truly want freedom,” I replied confidently, as I once again took up the dagger and began to saw.

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